Lazy Shinobi!
by The Winds of Change
Summary: Naruto is a member of the disbanded Akatsuki guild, in which all 10 of it's member are as strong as the Four Gods of Ishgar, Naruto being the strongest of them. Years after it's disbandment, Naruto took the road of an independent mage... before joining the guild called Fairy Tail, a guild his little sister joined. How will the presence of the strong blond shinobi change things?
1. Chapter 1

Lazy Shinobi

Summary: Naruto is a member of the disbanded Akatsuki guild, in which all 10 of it's member are as strong as the Four Gods of Ishgar, Naruto being the strongest of them. Years after it's disbandment, Naruto took the road of an independent mage... before joining the guild called Fairy Tail, a guild his little sister joined. How will the presence of the strong blond shinobi change things? And why is Erza so angry at him?

A/N: Inspired by many stories, so yeah. Just get your popcorn and read this jack shit.

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Fairy Tail is the strongest guild in all of Fiore, but they aren't just strong and all of those stuff. All of their members have their... quirks so to speak, and today is not a different day.

Natsu and Gray were arguing again, Happy is eating fish, Mirajane is serving foods and drinks, with that ugly smoker Wakaba trying to ask the beautiful woman on a date, Cana drinking a barrel, and surprisingly, Erza wasn't in her disciplinarian mode and is eating her beloved cheesecake. Oh, and was Lucy forgotten? The woman is holding a package, which contained God knows what is it.

It was a nice day, and it's as normal or... how normal Fairy Tail could be. Natsu, who just finished arguing a nonsense argument with Gray, sat next to Lucy, and the said girl blushed.

"Umm... Lucy, what is the content of that package?" Natsu asked the blond girl, who told them she didn't know it as well. So she decided to open it, and saw a letter... and three celestial keys inside.

"A letter, and three celestial keys! Oh my God!" Lucy exclaimed in shock, and everyone around her got interested, even Loke.

"I should read the letter first, this could have a clue on who gave me these babies!" Lucy then cradled the keys like how a mother would to her child. Then she opened the letter and read it

_Dear Lucy,_

_I hope you like my gifts. I got them from one of the mages of Oracion Seis, and the spirits revoked her contract with them, so there's no problem with that. The spirits are Capricorn, Gemini, and Aries._ (With that, Loke's eyes widened) _I heard you followed in kaa-chan's footsteps and decided to become a Celestial Spirit Mage. I'm sorry that I never saw you for 10 years, so this is like an apology gift to you._

_Yours Truly,_

_Naruto Namikaze  
The Shinobi, and your Brother._

"Nii-san.." Lucy muttered

"SHINOBI!" Erza then had an angry look on her face, and everyone turned their heads at Erza.

"Uh, Erza-san, what's wrong with the word "shinobi"?" Asked a confused Lucy.

"That shinobi bastard, to think he is actually the brother of our cute Lucy, unforgivable!" Erza ranted, and while Lucy is thankful Erza called her cute, she still sweatdropped at her mood swing.

"Once I see that bastard again, I'm gonna kick his ass! Oh, I know how I could make that happen, I will use Lucy as a bait, and then send her to safety before I kick that bastard's ass! A-and then I will kill him, and join a dark guild. It will be worth it!" Erza ranted again, and most of her guildmates just shitted, or pissed their pants.

_'E-erza's slowly becoming crazy.'_ Everyone thought

"Umm, Erza-san" Lucy poked her arm, which stopped the Re-quip wizard from her musings, "Why do you hate my nii-san so much? Can you tell us?" Lucy asked.

Erza sighed, and then nodded. "Two years ago, I met a blond haired man, with an headband that has the guild mark of the Akatsuki. He and I shared the same mission of ending three allied dark guilds, at first, I was starting to think the council sent me and the man to our deaths... but that never happened. Turns out the man is the 'shinobi', leader of the Akatsuki."

"If he helped you, why are you so angry at him?" Gray inquired, but the redhead glared at him.

"DONT INTERRUPT ME!" Erza yelled at Gray, who nodded in fear. "As I was saying before someone interrupted me, the man is the leader of the disbanded Akatsuki, ten men who are as strong as the Four Gods of Ishgar." With that, all of them, especially Lucy were shocked. "After that event... I thanked that bastard, and instead of replying "you're welcome" or stuff like that... the b-bastard told me to thank him in his bedroom and I should be naked once I enter his room! THAT BASTARD!" Erza growled

"That's understandable... nii-san has always been a pervert since we were kids. He even peeked in a secluded place where it was rumored Ur Milkovich is bathing, and he wasn't even discovered!" Lucy stated, and now, it's Gray's turn to get pissed.

"Alright, that settles it. You're brother is the worst being of all! Once we meet him, I will kill him!" Gray raged, but unfortunately, Erza headbutted him.

"You are not going to kill him, it is I who shall deliver the killing blow to that bastard!" Erza yelled at Gray, who nodded.

"Uh, you do realize that you're scheming someone's death in front of his sister." Lucy quietly said, which no one heard.

*BANG*

The door suddenly opened and revealed was the form of a tall man, who wears a hood.

"Is Makarov here?" The man asked

"T-THAT VOICE!" Erza shouted, and then requipped a sword. "I'm gonna kill you, shinobi bastard!" Erza shouted and then attacked the mysterious man.

"OI! Stop it this instant milk-mounds! Are you so horny right now, that you became angry that I didn't come earlier? That's fine honey, we can have our moment in the bed after I join the guild." The man said to Erza, which angered the female mage more.

_'He's d-dead!'_ Many people thought as they awaited for the demise of the masked man

_'Yes! Die! Die! You just angered Erza, and now you're dead! That's for peeking at my master, you bastard!'_ Gray thought as he daydreamed about the death of the man.

"How may I help you young man?" Makarov appeared out of nowhere and the man then removed his hood, to reveal a blond haired man just like Lucy, but instead of brown, he has blue eyes and three black marks on his face (Tobirama's marks). But his most distinguished feature is the headband on his neck... it has the logo of red clouds... the mark of the Akatsuki.

"It's me, you geezer. I'll join your guild right now since my imouto is here." Naruto grinned, which Makarov shared.

"Is the sequel to that Icha-Icha book coming?" Makarov whispered to Naruto, who nodded and gave him a small book.

"It's here, you can have it for free... but in exchange, you'll give me the naked photos of the females of Fairy Tail." Naruto told the old man, who gave him an envelope.

"I have Juvia to gather those for me, and no, I didn't peek at the photos." Makarov told him, and the two shook their hands. Hidden from that handshake was Makarov creating a guild make on Naruto's hand, which the blond noticed and nodded at him.

"It's nice working with you jiji!" Naruto exclaimed, but found no signs of Makarov... seemed like the old man won't wait to read Icha Icha.

"Umm... what was that for? And what's the content of the envelope?" Lucy asked

"Oh, just a deal that jiji and I had, and nope... there's nothing special here... wait where's the envelope!" Naruto shouted, as the envelope was now gone from his grasp. He turned around and saw a very red Erza holding the photos.

"T-THAT P-PERVERTED MASTER!" Erza shouted, and forgotten was the intent to kill Naruto, it's replaced by her intent to kill Makarov.

Scattered was the photos of naked females: Cana, Erza, Lucy, Mira, Bisca, Lisanna, Laki, Evergreen and many other female members of Fairy Tail, barring Juvia.

Macao and Wakaba were blown back by nosebleeds.

Gray and Natsu were staring at Lucy's photo.

Loke was shifting his eyes from Erza's photo to Lucy's photo.

Romeo's innocence was stolen from him. Poor brat.

Elfman was raging as he saw his sister's photos.

Mirajane was fuming in her mind, and set out to kill Juvia, who she knew took the photos. Same thoughts were shared by Lisanna, Lucy and Evergreen.

Cana was smirking and looked at Naruto, who was staring at her photo.

Freed looked sad... since there's no photo of Laxus. GAY BASTARD!

Juvia... was glaring at Lucy, and kept muttering "I'll kill love rival!".

Alzack fell unconscious as he saw Bisca's figure from the photo.

As the shock dispersed, the four females charged at Juvia, who's still formulating how to kill Lucy, and with that... a cat fight happened.

"WOOHOOO!" The males of Fairy Tail with a few exceptions yelled in appreciation.

Naruto Namikaze just arrived in Fairy Tail... and instantly caused chaos.

**Chapter End**

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A/N2: I know Angel had Scorpio instead of Capricorn, but fuck that. I can bend the laws into what I want here. So yeah. Deal with it!


	2. Chapter 2

Lazy Shinobi

Summary: Naruto is a member of the disbanded Akatsuki guild, in which all 10 of it's member are as strong as the Four Gods of Ishgar, Naruto being the strongest of them. Years after it's disbandment, Naruto took the road of an independent mage... before joining the guild called Fairy Tail, a guild his little sister joined. How will the presence of the strong blond shinobi change things? And why is Erza so angry at him?

A/N: Credits are given to the authors of some stories that gave me the inspiration to write this story. To the lord of crack fics, and some stories... you can't sue me! Just kidding, now on to the chapter.

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**Chapter Two: Bonding With Fairy Tail: Naruto's Two Bitches**

It's been two weeks since Naruto joined Fairy Tail, and it's safe to say that the chaos in the guild multiplied by 9000! Erza, whenever she has the chance is trying to cut Naruto's head, the key word was tried, since in her every attempts, Naruto would avoid it and slap her ass, much to the red heads embarrassment. Gray also tried to kill him for peeking at Ur, but he learned his lesson after his first try, unlike some big boobed redhead.

Now, Naruto is talking with Natsu and Gray, who became less hostile towards him.

"So are you on with the bet? Because I sure am!" Naruto grinned

"What bet is that, teme." Natsu glared at him. While Natsu won't try to kill him, he's still pissed at the blond... since he told Mira that he, Natsu Dragneel peeked at Lisanna, and got beat up by the Demon real badly.

"Easy! I'll have Cana to kiss me!" Naruto grinned

"Wow, you must always have wet dreams at night, Naruto." Gray deadpanned

"You'll never get her off drinking, so dream on!" Natsu shouted

"Yeah, and she'd probably rip your balls. Inside that drunk is a mean bitch, Wakaba and Macao could tell you that." Gray told him, and shuddered as he remembered where Cana almost castrated the two old perverts.

"Hmp! Just believe in me! If I win, you two are my bitches! If you do... well you can do what you want, and I'll even allow the two of you to fuck Lucy!" Naruto said

"Hmmm... that's agreeable."

"Yeah, but I saw Lucy naked more than once."

"You peeked at her?" Naruto glared at him, and Natsu chose not to answer, valuing his life.

"Okay, now here we go!" Naruto then headed towards Cana, who's still drinking beer.

Naruto coughed, and Cana turned around to see him.

"Hello babe!" Naruto grinned at the bikini top clad woman

"Uhh... what do you need? Are you tired of that monster Erza, and want a piece of little ole' me?" Cana said in a seductive tone.

Naruto then whispered at her, "I want you to kiss me to make Natsu and Gray my bitches."

"Hmm... I do want to see them as servants of someone, so I'll do that." Cana thought out loud and then kissed Naruto in the lips, which led to the two playing tonsil hockey.

"S-SHIT! W-WE ARE HIS BITCHES NOW!" Gray shouted

"D-DAMN! WE MUST RUN AWAY!" Natsu shouted

"YEAH! LET'S GO NOW FLAME-BRAIN, GRAY IS NO ONE'S BITCH!"

"For once, I agree with you stripper. Let's go!" And with that, the two left the guild.

As Naruto and Cana finished kissing, they were met by an angry Erza, who was glaring at Naruto.

"I'll talk to you later big titty cow, I'm gonna look for my bitches first. Natsu, Gray, my bitches! Where are you!" Naruto yelled

"You bastard, how dare you ignore me!" Erza shouted at Naruto, but the blond ignored her and went after the two as he sensed them.

"Let's have fun on that bed on yours tonight, Naruto!" Cana shouted as Naruto slowly disappeared.

Elsewhere, Gildarts felt that he's about to murder someone.

* * *

"AHA! You bitches are here!" Naruto grinned, but then later laughed his ass off on what he saw. He saw Natsu and Gray hugging each other while shouting "Igneel!" and "Ur" respectively.

"HAHAHAHA! I knew it! You two are gay for each other!" Naruto then saw the two release the hug and punch the other.

"FUCK YOU!" They shouted at him

"Oi! Are you swearing at me, my bitches. Remember: The two of you idiots are my bitches now! So go grab me a hentai manga. Quick! Insubordination will lead to death, so go now!" Naruto ordered, and then kicked the butt of the two scared mages, as they headed to buy a hentai manga.

"Ahh! Having bitches sure is fun!" Naruto laughed as he created a chair using his Mokuton, and sat on it.

30 Minutes Later

Naruto saw Natsu and Gray having 10 mangas at hand, the blond grinned and didn't notice the beaten up form of the two, but that didn't take him long to notice it.

"Oi, what's happening with you bitches?" Naruto asked the two, who fell on their knees.

"Juvia... Lucy... they kicked our ass when they saw us with the hentai." Gray said in a tired tone.

"They even kicked our balls." Natsu winced as he remembered how Lucy used the "Lucy Kick" on his manhood.

**Flashback**

Natsu and Gray, after purchasing the manga hanged out at a random bench at the park, and were sharing their complaints about that bastard who made them his bitches. None of the two seemed to notice that the hentai manga is seen by everyone... and luck had it that Lucy and Juvia saw them.

"G-Gray-sama prefers animated bitches with big boobs? Juvia is shocked!" Juvia then thought if she'd either wet the manga with her magic, or kick Gray's ass and tell him that Juvia is the only woman he needs.

"N-Natsu!" Lucy then had a dark aura behind her and charged at Natsu, Juvia then followed soon after, but charged at Gray.

"Juvia?"

"Lucy?"

"WE'RE FUCKED! SCREW YOU NARUTO!" The two males shouted as they faced the strong and god-like feminine fury.

"GRAY-SAMA! YOU ONLY NEED JUVIA, UNDERSTAND?!" Juvia shouted at Gray, before kicking his ribs. "Juvia will give you the beating of a lifetime! And Juvia will teach you that Juvia is better than bitches drawn by an idiot without a girlfriend like Juvia!" Juvia then kicked his balls. Ouch.

"This is actually for Naruto" Gray managed to speak before Juvia kicked his balls, but she never heard it.

"NATSUUUUU! How dare you turn into a pervert?" An enraged Lucy glared at Natsu, who couldn't even respond to her.

"HOW DARE YOU PREFER ANIMATED BITCHES THAN ME?!" Lucy shouted at Natsu

"...ummm... you have a nice ass Lucy." Natsu thought that would stop Lucy, but it enraged her more.

"YOU PERVERT!" Lucy then kicked him in the balls.

Many people were watching them, and the men around held their balls and looked at them in pity.

**End Flashback**

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Naruto laughed, "Even if that Psycho is in love with you, she beat you up, Gray! And even my sister kicked your ass, Natsu! HAHAHAHA! Truly deserving of my bitches!"

"IT'S YOUR FAULT TO BEGIN WITH YOU BASTARD!" They roared at him, Naruto paid no mind and kicked them in the ass, and sat his feet on their backs, as he read his manga.

"That's your punishment for standing up to me, you little bitches. Fire and Ice can kiss my ass!" Naruto shouted as he kicked the back of Natsu's head. "And that's for making perverted comments to my sister!"

**End Chapter**


	3. It's just a note Not the real chapter 3

Hiya People! I laughed my ass off since the last chapter almost doubled the reviews before it got posted, though, with no shock majority of them were pissed people. I also got a hundred pms that screamed bloody death. I just want to tell ya all that this story will not be dead, at least not when I am finally free from that bitch. So yeah, chapter 3 is coming soon, and actually, I already have 7k words for that, but I don't feel I got it to the point that I can finally post it.


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